Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
