Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
