Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
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Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
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There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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