just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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