never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
