After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize