bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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