So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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