dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This is the high leading the old right now
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize