so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
