I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
