He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
