my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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