I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
