i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
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