It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
