No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i will never coherently bang her
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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