Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
