and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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