apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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