Pappa wants mamma naked
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
