Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
