well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize