her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
