Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
