just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
