Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just had sex on a roof
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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