Whod you bang
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
