It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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