i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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