You just made me feel so damn special
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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