Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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