also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
