At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.