i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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