According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
now i know why i became what i already was.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.