I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him