Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
