stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
