Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
