is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
