At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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