all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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