I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
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Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
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We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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