he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
