Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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