i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
