Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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