I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
vagina is talking i cant
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
