Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
