Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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