whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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