he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
