but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
