Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
