I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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