Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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