Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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