when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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