you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she told me i tasted like america
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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