So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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