I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
