it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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