I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
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Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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