I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
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Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
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Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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