true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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