Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
