Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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