he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
