in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
