Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
